A Silver Lining for 2012

02 Monday Jan 2012

Posted by Vivian May Edwards in All my posts, Encouagement!, Lessons Learned, My Life!, Prayers From My Heart

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comfort, death, difficulty, discouragment, dogs, encouragement, God, grief, grieving, Heaven, hope, inspiration, joy, new year, peace, pets, praise, sadness, sorrow, trials, women

On April 2, shortly after my last post on “Bella’s Story” my beloved fur baby lost her 7 year battle with Mega Esophagus. Devastated by this journey and her loss, I found it impossible to write.

Since then, finding myself in the dawn of this first day of 2012, I still have no answers but I do see new beginning’s of a silver lining in this dark grey cloud of the storm.

The day after we buried our Bella in our beautiful garden, under the Weeping Willow, a fierce storm emerged from the west. Heart broken, I deeply felt the need to cry out to my God. In the midst of the roar, I needed answers. “Why?” Confusion and anger pouring from deep within my soul…

Immediately convicted, I asked God’s forgiveness. After a pause and with sincerity in my heart, I longingly asked Him, “Is Bella ok, is she with You Father? Is she up in Heaven praising You right now?” I desperately needed to know she was happy and safe…

Instantly, God answered me with an imposingly dark grey cloud. It was large and moving quickly appearing from behind the roof of my home. Stunned, I gazed as it drew near, floating above me. It took me a minute but to my delightful surprise, this cloud was in the shape of my Bella! Blackish grey, fluffy, long-bodied, her perfectly formed head, ears, four short little legs, a tail, with bright lightning-white angel wings… I couldn’t believe it!

I thought to myself, “I need to take a photo of this or no one will believe me!” I ran into my house to get my camera. Excitedly asked Rick if he knew where the camera was. “Bella’s up in the sky!” I yelled! Rick thought I’d lost it, and he came running outside thinking he would literally see Bella flying around, up in the sky.

By the time I got back outside with my camera, the beautiful cloud was mostly fizzled and gone… But my heart and soul were at peace and overjoyed! To think that God loved me enough to answer my desperate prayer in such a creative and laughable way was amazing to me and still is eight months later.

Loosing someone or something so beloved is one of the harshest things about this life that we all have to experience at one time or another. Even God Himself suffered loss and felt this unbearable pain, when He gave up His own Son for us for a time.

In this new year, let us always look for the silver lining in each unwanted storm cloud that comes our way. Instead of focusing on the dark grey of the center, may we always notice the brightness of God’s love and hope, as we keep our skyward look!

Love, Blessings, and Happy New Year to you all!

Vivian May Edwards

Bella’s Story

14 Monday Mar 2011

Posted by Vivian May Edwards in All my posts, Creation's Praise, Encouagement!, Lessons Learned, My Life!, Prayers From My Heart

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animals, bailey chair, comfort, dogs, encouragement, God, hope, inspirational, megaesophagus, pets, sadness, UGA College of Veterinary Medicine, University of Georgia, Veterinary, veterinary medicine

Bella-pup

Ever since she was just a pup, and the cutest one at that! Bella would spit-up and regurgitate food and water after eating and drinking. We all noticed it but never thought a thing of it as her veterinarian never paid this much attention.

Bella’s disorder went undiagnosed for seven years, up until this past January… That horrible day when her health began to deteriorate. She sounded terrible! Crackling, coughing, hacking, lethargic and barely breathing…

I rushed her to the Vet! He kept her overnight with a diagnosis of pneumonia. Easily treated (so I thought) with an IV, diuretic and a round of antibiotics. She was better after the treatment but very quickly slipped back into her sickness, listlessness, regurgitating, and respiratory distress…

We love her!

After several diagnostic tests, Bella’s veterinarians called us with the bad news… They had determined that Bella indeed had a mass in her lungs. Her prognosis was not good and the best recourse was to euthanize her because she was is pain and things would only worsen very quickly for her.

Our Bella was dying and we were devastated! Words cannot express the sadness I felt at the time. I could not even go with Rick to the Vet’s office to hold her. I couldn’t bear to see her one last time before they put her down. I wanted to remember her as she was. An angel and the sweetest gift God could have given me during this difficult season of my life. Tears began to flow… It was as though I had just lost one of my beloved babies. Prayers, begging God to help me and to spare Bella’s life, lifted high. Wales rose up from somewhere deep within my inner soul. Never before had I felt such sorrow…

Upon seeing Bella at the Vet’s office, Rick decided to not put her down but instead to bring her back home, he called me with the news. “Her tail is wagging, she is not ready to be put down yet, I am bringing her home!” Rick exclaimed to me over the phone. With mixed feelings, I prepared to see my Bella again. Even if only for a moment, I felt better…

We almost lost her...

The next day we took Bella to a specialist who confirmed her diagnosis of a Mass. They said it was not in her lungs but in-between her lungs.

This veterinarian specialist offered us surgery to remove the mass, to the tune of $6,000.00 dollars with no assurance that this would help, or that Bella would even survive the delicate operation.

They did encouraged us though to not euthanize her yet, but to take her home, keep her comfortable and to enjoy her for another month or two…

Bella, in her "Bailey Chair"

As a last resort, we took her the following day to The University of Georgia, College of Veterinary Medicine. After an examination and several tests, they determined that Bella did not have a mass. We were ecstatic and unbelievably relieved! Bella was instead suffering from a classic appearance of Megaesophagus (a dilated esophagus). To my ears this still sounded awful, but hearing anything other than that it was a Mass was like hearing the most whimsically beautiful symphony of praise…

We were so happy, for God had answered our prayers!

We were given two options: Bella could have a feeding tube surgically inserted into her tummy in order to bypass her esophagus, or we could opt to offer her food and drink in a vertical position. She would have to stay in this vertical position for 30 minutes after eating or drinking.

For now, we have opted to try the vertical option of feeding Bella in a “Bailey Chair“. It has been a huge change, adjustment and challenge of experimenting to try to find the best way in which to feed her so that she does not regurgitate her food and water causing pneumonia. After almost two months, I think we have finally figured it out. Bella is doing so much better now and I praise the Lord for that!

Praise the Lord!

I think God has walked me through this devastating “shadow of death,” in order to prove His limitless love to me. He loves you and me, and all His remarkable creatures and spectacular created things so much!

God cares deeply about all the little things that we love and care about…

Now that is amazing!

High Thoughts for 2011

06 Thursday Jan 2011

Posted by Vivian May Edwards in All my posts, Creation's Praise, Encouagement!, Lessons Learned, My Life!

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blessings, comfort, discouragment, encouragement, God, holidays, hope, inspiration, peace, spiritual, strength, truth, women

God saw all He had made, and it was very good! Genesis 1:31

As I begin this new year not knowing what crazy situation or circumstance might be lurking just around the bend of my life, although knowing all along that God knows and has it all under His control. I go to the source of my never-ending peace and strength, God’s Holy Word. I begin at the beginning, Genesis chapters, one and two to receive from Him and to share my heart and encouragement with you!

Reflect on who you are, where you came from and why you are living today? Contemplate on the fact that God has gloriously and uniquely created and formed you with His own hands, in His radiant image. He, with joy and eagerness has fashioned you for a specific reason and with eternal purpose!

Meditate on God: Before time began, God existed. The universe and beyond appeared from His desire and inexhaustible imagination. God is all-powerful and knows all things. He is purposeful in every decision. God is a Supreme Being He is the Living Creator and Divine Spirit who acts with meaningful deliberation in all He does. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. There is no god like Him, for He is perfect in all His ways!

Just think of it! You were lovingly created by God to be in His likeness, which means you are essentially a spiritual being. You have received a divine in-breathing of God’s own Holy Spirit and this sets you apart from all other living creatures. You are intelligent! A moral compass has been gifted you and He has given you the freedom to choose between right and wrong. As the Master Creator Himself, God has equipped you with imagination and colorful creativity. He has privileged you with the right to rule over His dominion and the lesser creatures inhabiting it. Success, rest and every good and perfect gift and blessing is yours for the asking!

So be encouraged as you begin and journey through this new and uncharted new year! Thank God for how He has loved and honored you in all these magnificent ways. Praise Him for all He is, for you and I have been truly blessed!

May joy and blessing be yours throughout 2011!

Vivian May Edwards

New Blog Post! Christmas Praise!

10 Friday Dec 2010

Posted by Vivian May Edwards in All my posts, Inspirational Poetry

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New Blog Post! Christmas Praise! http://ow.ly/1anNY0

He sits over me…

30 Saturday Oct 2010

Posted by Vivian May Edwards in All my posts, Encouagement!, Inspirational Poetry, My Life!

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comfort, contentment, difficulty, discouragment, inspiration, love, peace, poetry, praise, sadness, trust, women

He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver. Malachi 3:3

This poem was given to me on October 29, 2006. It was during an extremely harsh and fiery season in my own personal life that God gave me the sweetest treasure to cling to, along with His eternal promises and encouragement to continue to trust Him no matter what! God’s whispers of love and constant reassurance created these comforting words in my anguished heart. May they deeply comfort your soul as well!

He sits over me keeping watch through my day.